The Joys of Gun Control

Guest author!

As I am sure you are aware of through the media circus surrounding the terrible tragedy in Colorado, several young lunatics shot and killed 12 students and 1 teacher in a high school before saving the sheriffs department the trouble and shooting themselves. Now I agree that this is something that never should have happened and may have even been avoidable, but not necessarily by the means that many have recently proposed. I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts on the subject, which I hope will not offend any in the least way.

Gun control is not the answer, people control is. Let's face it, the gun didn't kill anyone. Try this experiment at home. Take a loaded weapon and place in front of you barrel facing squarely at your chest. Now hurl verbal abuse at the gun. Call it a nigger or gook or a wop or cracker. Sexually abuse it for years and force it to smile and deny everything in public. Deny it low cost housing or education. Brainwash it to think that Hitler was a god. Abuse its mother in front of it. Do any of the things that drive people to get a gun and shoot. Observe what happens. Did the gun go off? More than likely no. Why did it not fire in this instance or any other time you repeated this experiment? Let us now throw in another variable and repeat this experiment.

Set up as previously mentioned only now place the gun in the hands of a person. Repeat the activities listed. You may have noticed that the gun discharged this time around. Why is this? Well the logical answer is that it was the person who used the gun to kill. The gun itself had no compulsion whatsoever to harm anyone. The person seemed all too willing to kill. And yet when people do these horrible things the gun gets the heat. Just like Lee Harvey Oswald it has all the blame placed squarely on its own head (or barrel or trigger or whatever) and the real culprits become media phenoms or pitied as the "quiet boy next door who was pushed too far."

Therefore I think that people should be held accountable for their own actions. We must devise some method of cracking down on insanity and mean behavior. Maybe have a test all citizens must pass every few years to weed out the mentally deficient. Marriage applicants might have to be screened to see if they possess "sane blood" they will pass on to their children. This plan could even restore the American race to its position of purity and as leader of the "sane" world. Maybe that would be too German for some tastes but hey, who knows it just might work.

It may sadly happen that guns will have absorbed so much bad press that the times comes when we must give up our constitutional right to bear arms in the interests of public safety. If so it would be hypocritical to stop there. We should have to carry on and eliminate all potentially deadly weapons. Knives would have to go as I have heard rumors they have been used to kill before. Come to think of it, most sharp objects would have to go. Forks, they have sharp tines, must go. Claw hammers, outta here. Pitchforks, long gone. And I ain't even gonna mention sporks! This will have the benefit of simplifying place settings at fancy restaurants, as we will only have spoons left if they survive the rigid screening process.

For those who haven't guessed the preceding was a slightly sarcastic poke at gun control freaks and gun nuts alike. The fact is that yes guns contribute to violence, but are not the sole cause of tragedy and murder in this country. Some of the factors are mentioned in the above. If there are no guns do 15 people get murdered in columbine high school, probably not. Does anybody get killed, probably. The two wackos more than likely would have used some other less efficient way to vent their psychopathic rage. Is 1 young life lost any less tragic than 15. Let us not forget these two nut bags also had bombs. Probably made from materials not normally used as explosives separately but when combined perform that task quite well. Matches for example can be used to create a quite adequate bomb. Should we ban these as well? Many have mentioned that England and Canada have lower crime rates because of strict anti gun laws. But they also have less crowding, less poverty, less decadence, and less personal freedom. These same personal freedoms that we fought a war for are an integral part of our culture. The right to bear arms has been a basic freedom of ours for our country's entire history, to an extent. To suddenly say we no longer have it is quite similar to saying we can no longer congregate peaceably or utilize free press. Granted the 2nd amendment is not as valid today it is still part of our heritage, and that is not so easy to let go of. This argument is a stalemate with passionate arguments to be made for both sides. The fact is murder occurred long before guns and will continue should guns disappear. The basic problem is people are fucked and will continue to be fucked for millennia to come. For brevity's sake, although some may argue brevity was abandoned long ago in this dissertation, I will end this here and let you make up your own minds. Feel free to send any hate mail or money as you see fit.

-Michael Roskiewich.
mroskiewic@aol.com

Send Reply or Read Replies


Back to Rants List || Pat's Page