Cops

       I don’t hate cops. I never have. This may come as a shock to some of you, but it’s true... even if I’ve known some real dick head pigs.

       Way way back when I was a wee teenager, I had a run in with a Township cop we all called “Hitler” behind his back be cause he was short, greasy haired with a small mustache, real creepy and weasel like. The way I recall one particular incident, I was hanging with a bunch of friends in the park after hours. Strike One. We were no longer drinking, but were drunk. Strike two. It wasn’t uncommon for our group to hang in the park after hours drunk, but this night was uncharacteristically quiet. I sat on the bleachers speaking with Frank Semeralio, nearly 6’3” (190.5cm) at 14 years old. Yeah, great ball player, and a bit of a boyscout. He was very sober that night.

       Shattering the night’s groove like a bully stomping through a sandcastle screeches “Hitler” in his Crown Victoria patrol car through the mud and stopping on the new basketball court. The same thought went through everyone’s head; “How unnecessary!” Of course, everyone scattered just to be safe.

       Everyone but me.

       I tried to get up and go, but took one step and WHUMP! I was just drunk enough to forget I was at the bleacher’s high end. The fact that I had a difficult time walking even when sober didn’t help. I wasn’t hurt, but too disoriented to get away. Being the boyscout he was, Frank never even turned to run. He stayed with me, figuring a sober guy might cover for a drunk friend.

       Strike three.

       The good thing is that Frank took all of the heat off of me. The bad news is there was a lot of heat. Ya gotta picture this; a 32 year old 5’1” (155cm) cop screaming at a 14 year old 6’3” kid. “Hitler” had a real size problem and seemingly channeled all of his insecure rage though his position.

       All Frank gave him was a humble “Yes sir” and “No sir.” Even when Frank was slammed on the hood and had his arm twisted behind his back, Frank did not provoke him. Then, to our surprise, he ordered us to go home and drove off.

       That is an example of an asshole who became a cop because he was an insecure little turd who got off on pushing people around. This is actually human nature. More often then not, the pricks no one likes in high school become cops. I guess they want to get some payback.

       I just wanted to tell that story…

       There are, without a doubt, a lot of cool cops. I should say there are quite a few cool people who became cops. Unfortunately, the cool ones are not the ones everyone remembers. Also, people seldom have a cop show up in order to share in a good time. Instead, they are usuallly called out to fix high stress situations. This is not an excuse for some cops being dickheads, however, but it may help to explain why some of them are.

        One also has to take into consideration that cops are just people. While it is true that the criteria for becoming a cop in the USA depends more and more on weather he/she has a college degree, it doesn’t mean that the average cop is any smarter then the average US citizen. I know quite a few imbeciles with college degrees. (Then we have to consider the intelligence level of the average US citizen, but that’s another topic.)

        Cops. I don’t hate cops. I hate cops who use their position to get away with being a dickhead. I hate dickheads...

        If a cashier at Target gives you a hard time, you can tell them to kiss your ass. Try that with a cop, and he’ll stick his nightstick up yer ass and twirl it.

        That reminds me of another story…