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The very darkest parts of me have a conclusion no one has ever written or spoken. And it may very well be the truth and it is so frightening, I hate to share it but I must because he/she/it the creator has made me that way...
Has anyone, could anyone, ever consider this most horrible of thoughts: There is a god, and I have known only once that there is a power that in the darkest hours will answer... What, and I am so coldly aware that it may very well be the truth, if this higher immortal power has created us... created life to answer his/her/its' own realization: that their really is no purpose to life, to existence. That the universe, the systems, the movements of planet and life were set about to answer an immortal's despair and fear. If you were truly, unable to be obliterated, what could you do? Find purpose. And what if we, the mortals, were designed for that very task. What if life and reality and all we can hold dear is merely a program/process to answer the profound loneliness and emptiness of an immortal... The Prime created us with this emptiness... hoping, and along the way delighting in the temporary answers we discovered: Love, Career, Lust, Hatred, Creation, Destruction... we have been given the tools to experience all of that... What if, at the truest center, we are the toy and project of a lonely immortal being seeking it's own answer... Look at what is considered the true testament: The Bible. Honor thy father and mother: The creators. Keep holy the Sabbath: Remember why you are here. Thou shalt not kill: Don't ruin what may be the answer for me. Thou shalt not commit adultery: Don't indulge in yourselves, you exist to answer my despair. Thou shalt not have false gods before me: Don't lose your purpose, do what I created you to do. Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not covet person or possessions, Thou shalt not blaspheme: All are functions of what boils down too... "You are here to work for me, to find the purpose for me. You exist only to find mine own reason for existence." I don't know if anyone has considered this: Life may very well the Suicide Note of an Immortal. A Cry against the unattainable. A program set to find what even the Almighty can't. A reason against the desire to be no more. But being immortal, can never have so he/she/it seeks a reason to go on: Which is on many levels what every one of us seeks. An answer, a purpose, a reason, an ending... And may very well explain why every major current religion sees the Creator as both Judge and Protector, because the Creator can empathize with us. Can understand our pain, can relate to us: not only because he/she/it made us this way but because we are he/she/it's last hope. A shoddy flashlight set against the darkness of reality. God may be lonelier than us and thus the angels were made, to worship him/her-self, an experiment that failed. And thus we were made in "His Image", with his drives and longings and we are no more happier or more fulfilled. Bloodhounds built to find a trail God can't see.
-C.A. Wooding Send Reply or Read Replies |